Star of the sea

Emma at Crazy with Twins has created a place for us all to link up our posts about the beautiful Matilda Mae. To allow Jennie at Edspire to see, in one place, the outpouring of support that has come since the tragedy of the 2nd of February.

I wrote a post a few days after we had heard the news, feeling raw and at a loss for words – what could I possibly say to make things any better – but feeling the need to reach out and let Jennie, David, Esther and William know that we were thinking of them and sending what strength and comfort we could.

It seemed inadequate, and I worried that it was written more for me than for Jennie.

A few days later, with Jennie and Matilda Mae still very much in my thoughts, I found an excerpt from a book that made me think of Matilda Mae and I wrote a very short post to record those words for Jennie.

In one of the stars, I shall be living.? In one of them, I shall be laughing.?
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing?, when you look at the sky at night.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I find that another week later my thoughts still turn to Jennie. I worry, I want her to feel comforted, I want to lend my strength, I want to provide what support I can.

It is clear from Jennie’s tweets and posts since the loss of Matilda Mae what a wonderful mother she is and how very loved Matilda Mae, Esther and William are. Her blog is a wonderful tale of a mum who enjoys every minute with her children and wouldn’t be anywhere else.

It is so very unfair.

Jennie has continued to write in tribute and memory of her beautiful daughter. Her love, compassion and faith shine through in these posts. I have cried with her as she goes through what no mother should go through.

But through it all, she still thinks of others. Reminding us to make each moment precious and to treasure our time with our children. Reaching out to another mother who is going through the same pain, offering her support.

I, like many others, have taken her words and looked at my own scattered, chaotic and at times frustrated life with kids, and stopped. One of my personal goals this year was to work on patience. I find that I’m not having to work so hard on that anymore.

Jennie is going through our worst nightmare. As parents we live with the terror of something happening to our children. We try to put it to the back of our minds, or it would be crippling. We hope and pray it will never happen to us.

My heart breaks for her and her family.

Jennie has been an inspiration to me. Her dignity, strength, compassion and grace through this most awful time are mind blowing. I feel privileged to read her blog – past, present and future. I truly hope she knows how much we all admire her. I hope she knows how much we wish we could make all this go away.

This online world is a funny thing, and I know that Jennie has struggled with how to explain the bond and strength of relationships to her non-online friends and family. I have been amazed, touched and encouraged by the support I have found since joining twitter and this world of parent bloggers. We share our wildest dreams and our deepest fears. We share our triumphs and our failures. We know each other – the freedom of a level of anonymity allowing us to be honest in our words and actions. We do not judge each other. We give advice, we give hugs, we laugh, smile and cry with each other. I truly hope that I one day get to meet, face to face, some of the wonderful mums and dads that I have had the pleasure of getting to know on line.

I am very proud to be part of this blogging community, who have been there for Jennie when she needed them most.

Matilda Mae has touched the hearts of many and I hope that brings some comfort to Jennie and her family. Her beautiful smile and huge brown eyes will stay with us, and her memory will live on in every one who reads Jennie’s blog.

And I will certainly be wearing pink and purple on the 7th of March in her honour

I would like to point you towards an online fund set up in memory of Matilda Mae, The Matilda Mae Precious Star Fund and also a beautiful plan for a flower release by Hollybobbs. A group from the blogging community is also planning to name a star for her.

Emma has also written a wonderful poem for Matilda Mae – Twinkle Twinkle Matilda Mae – please read this beautiful tribute.

Rest in peace Matilda Mae xx