It has been almost four weeks since I wrote about the dreadful separation anxiety that the wee girl was experiencing.
We are now into week five of regular sessions in the YMCA crèche. We started with 10 to 15 minutes at a time, building up to half an hour, then to 45 minutes. I spent a lot of time reassuring her, reinforcing that I would be back, praising her for every step forward.
The first week was horrendous. Enough said.
The second week she discovered a swing chair in the corner of the room and would sit in it. Crying.
The third week she started to play with the toys on the chair and chat to the staff. She cried when I dropped her off and picked her up.
Last Friday – four weeks to the day since the awful, heartbreaking, mortifying morning when they came to get me because she was so hysterical – she lasted for the whole of the 4yo’s swimming lesson! She was a little tearful when I dropped her off, but she headed straight for ‘her’ chair.
When I went to pick her up I had a moment of panic because I couldn’t find her. She wasn’t in the chair…
She had left the chair (of her own accord) and gone to play with the other children!
On Monday I popped her in for half an hour before her swim class, not wanting to leave it too long before I reinforced the success of Friday and hoping that it wasn’t a one off.
For the first time she walked in, by herself. There were no tears, at all. She headed for her chair, but she wasn’t there for long.
She didn’t notice when I came to pick her up!
She was too busy playing :)
Now, it’s still early days, and I don’t expect it to be plain sailing from here on in, but this is such huge progress. It’s been a long four/five weeks, and it’s been hard. I’ve made sure that she’s been in the crèche at least three times a week. Always at around the same time of day. I have listened to the screaming and I have listened to the silence!
I am very proud of her.
And, I’m quite proud of myself for sticking with it and helping her work through her anxiety.
As we left on Monday she turned and, with the biggest grin, shouted ba-bye to everyone. That’s the point at which I almost cried.
I would just like to thank everyone who left thoughtful and supportive comments on my first post. It really meant a lot. The support helped me take a deep breath and keep going so, thank you, you wonderful lot!
I’ve linked this post up with Small Steps Amazing Achievements over at Ethan’s Escapades. Please click on the badge below and share in the amazing achievements, and milestones, of our children. And, please join in and support this lovely linky!
Yay! Well done both of you!
Thank you!!
That’s great news! Well done both of you x
Thank you Kim x
It is hard isn’t it but so pleased it’s getting easier. You must be very proud (and relieved!)
Definitely relieved! Thank you x
That’s brilliant. Well done sticking with it, even though it can be such an emotional drain. I’m sure it will make all the difference to her self confidence in new situations.
Thank you! I can already see a difference in how she is interacting with people. It’s wonderful :)
Ah Sara, that is just fantastic well done to both of you. It is the toughest thing in the world to walk away when they are crying for you, it’s all too easy to give in and never take them back. I think we talked about this on twitter, I had months of not even being able to go to the toilet without my youngest being on my knee. It is exhausting, frustrating and worrying all at once, when they finally find that confidence to let you go, it is a huge moment xxx
Thank you Nichola x We did have a chat about this on twitter, it is really hard isn’t it? You know you have to ‘make’ them go because in the long run they need to, but listening to them scream is the most awful thing!
Well done to the both of you for sticking through it! I can only imagine all the emotions you went through.
Thank you x It was tough going, but I’m so glad I’ve stuck with it. Just need to keep it up now so that we don’t take a step backwards!
Well done. You all sound like you handled it well – the staff for being supportive, little one for being brave, and you for getting through an emotionally exhausting few weeks, staying so calm.
Here’s to happy creching in the future!
Thank you x It’s certainly not been the easiest few weeks, but worth it. Just need to keep up the momentum now and build on her confidence xx
Oh I am so pleased to hear she’s settled in – it really does tug on the old heart strings when they wont settle without you doesn’t it (well I find it does).
Oh, it absolutely does. Nothing worse than listening to them sob. But sometimes we just have to be strong, help them through it and build their confidence.
Well done to you both, it is the riht thing to do but can break your heart when they start breaking their hearts..
Thank you – it is ultimately an important skill for them to learn, but it’s a tough one when they struggle with it x
Well done both of you, so tough, but definitely the right thing and I am sure your gradual sensitive approach will pay dividends later on!
Thank you, I hope so x
Oh well done Sara – I’m so sorry I missed your original post, but my daughter had terrible separation anxiety so I do completely understand how hard it can be. You have been very brave and done exactly the right thing here. It’s so very very hard for mummy, so sending you lots of hugs for a good job done xx
Thank you so much lovely x It certainly wasn’t my favourite experience as a mother, but we are definitely getting there.
Well done both of you. We didn’t experience this with Ethan until recently, a year after starting nursery! It’s hard when their little face looks and you and just says it all. I’m so glad she has settled in so nicely, I’m sure it makes it a nicer experience for all of you.
Thanks for linking up with Small Steps Amazing Achievements :0)
x
It’s been such a relief that we’ve managed to work through it, for the moment anyway…! Thanks for hosting x