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Last week was one of those weeks. Sick kids, sick husband. No ticks on my to-do list!
It was one of those weeks where my list was longer than usual (upcoming birthdays), Sod’s Law being as it is.
It was one of those weeks where there were several extras in the calendar, in this case the Cub Scout Pinewood Derby which involved car building, weigh ins, track set up and the event itself.
It was crazy.
My poor to-do list didn’t stand a chance.
When I set myself the challenge to simplify, I knew I would find weeks like this difficult. Weeks where I had to really live letting it go.
I almost managed it.
After a horrible night on Monday, the wee girl was in need of lots of cuddles on Tuesday. I accepted it would be a sofa day, and went with it.
On Wednesday I kept the wee girl home again, just to be on the safe side. We had a lovely, bonus morning of treats and chatter. I accepted it and put the list to one side again.
On Thursday I thought yes, today I can catch up on myself. Until the boys school called and I had to go and pick up the 6yo who was complaining of a sore tummy. By this point, my husband had succumbed to the stomach bug so I wasn’t taking any chances. I had however just sat down for a quick coffee with a friend.
I didn’t feel quite so accepting at this point. But, as I started to complain to my friend I caught myself mid-sentence and said no, it’s just one of those things *deep breath*
By the weekend though, I was tired. My husband was still unwell and slept all day on Saturday, and my reserves of sympathy and acceptance were running low.
Sunday, I was grumpy! I could hear it in my voice, in my choice of words, in my snappiness.
So, I arranged a play date for the 6yo and the wee girl and we walked over to our friends house. Fresh air, sunshine, exercise. Lots of tea and chat. I found acceptance again.
Over the last couple of months I have noticed a change. I wondered if my mission to let go would really work; could I really step back and do less without feeling that I was losing control.
It’s still a major work in progress, but last week showed me that I can do it, if I set my mind to it. That despite a couple of wobbles, ultimately I came out on top.
Today, I know that the to-do list needs to come back out and that this week is going to be busy, catching up. But, I feel more able to cope with it than I would have done a couple of months ago.I don’t have all the answers yet, and I have a long way to go. But today, I feel hopeful.
And that feels pretty good.