This year has been many things, but one of those is a year of deep reflection. I am ending the year in a better place than I began it. I am calmer and more centered, and I understand myself – my motivations and triggers – far better. This has led to me being very clear about the things that I am leaving behind in 2025, as I move in to the new year with hope and purpose.
The Five Things I’m Leaving Behind in 2025
1. Self-criticism
I am a recovering perfectionist. I have always been hugely critical of myself. But, what I have come to realize is that my need for perfection often becomes control, which impacts those around me too. I find uncertainty very unsettling, it makes me anxious. My anxiety also leads to a need for control. And, so it goes. Around and around. It’s exhausting.
I know that this has had a hugely negative impact, not just on me, but on my family. It has been the thing I have worked hardest on this year, and I feel hopeful that I am going into 2026 with more clarity and intention.
2. Guilt for past mistakes
With that self-reflection, and deep analysis of my need for control (and its triggers) comes guilt. Guilt for all the times I inadvertently hurt my kids by trying to (unnecessarily) control a situation, or worse, control them.
Guilt for the times that I saw my words as protection from a perceived (on my part) negative outcome, and they saw them as control and a lack of support.
The guilt of bringing my trauma into their lives.
But, by choosing to acknowledge my mistakes and forgive myself, and not carry this guilt with me, I am finally healing. This isn’t about ignoring or forgetting, but I can’t move forward without first forgiving myself.
Only by taking accountability, and owning my part, can I change.
3. Unrealistic expectations
Who’s with me?
I have tied myself in knots for years trying to meet unrealistic expectations. The expectations of others, and the expectations I have for myself.
No more!
This past year has thrown me some curveballs, and it would have been very easy for me to crumble. But, by setting reasonable expectations, and by sometimes having no expectations at all, I have managed to calmly take things as they came.
4. Taking on too much at once
One of the ways that I typically set myself up to fail against my expectations is by taking on too much at once.
No, I cannot do it all. And no, I should not.
I am a people pleaser, and avoid confrontation at all costs, and I hate to say no if I can help someone.
Taking on too much just leads to burnout though, so I have made a commitment to myself to be more considered in what I say yes to.
5. Comparison
And here, I loop right back to the self-criticism.
In this digitally connected world, where we are bombarded with images of ‘perfect’, it is almost impossible to not compare yourself to others. But, as we know, comparison is the thief of joy.
Perhaps it’s getting older, perhaps it’s wisdom, perhaps it’s contentment. Maybe it’s just exhaustion! But, I don’t have the time or energy to spend on comparing my now to someone else’s. And, if I’m going to show myself more compassion, then comparison is out.
What are you leaving behind in 2025? I’d love to know.
JOIN ME FOR THE WEEKLY BREW
Pour yourself a cup; it’s time for a little midlife-mix of musings, moments & motivation.
