Dear Matilda Mae,
Such a small number.
Such a long time, yet no time at all.
One year since your mother found you sleeping; since you were taken from your family; since your family’s lives changed forever.
I only came to know you once you were gone.
But, you have changed me.
Across miles, across an ocean. I read and I cried and I changed.
Thanks to you, beautiful Matilda Mae, my children play messily. I play messily! We blow bubbles to the sky, we walk in our wellies. We light purple candles. We look for stars all around us.
And, we remember.
Matilda Mae, before I knew you I was always busy, always distracted. I didn’t take the time to enjoy the ordinary moments, the quiet special times. I didn’t take notice of the passing of the months; I didn’t take the time to record the funny, the moving, the exciting. Life passed in a blur. It was fun, it was mostly happy. It simply happened.
Now. Now I notice the smiles; I notice the milestones; I notice the new and exciting. I notice the extraordinary ordinary moments.
More; I make these moments happen.
Now. I know just how precious life is, and I am truly grateful.
I am grateful to you Matilda Mae. And, I am grateful to your mother.
You must be so proud of her, your strong and inspirational mother. Your champion, your voice.
Your mother; who has worked tirelessly. Your mother; who has spoken when she had no voice, given when she had nothing left to give. I cannot begin to imagine how she gets through each day; without you, a piece of her always missing.
I only hope that she knows how much love and support surround her everyday, however virtual it might be: arms reach out from all over the world to hold a hand, provide a shoulder. We might not always speak out loud; but we shout in our thoughts, whisper in our dreams, call out in our wishes; and we are there.
Rest in peace, Matilda Mae. Know you are loved, know you are cherished and know you live on in all our hearts.
Much love xx