Word of the Week: Drifting


I find myself wondering where the time goes. It seems like only yesterday it was June; now it’s October and the inevitable chaos of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas loom large.

I am drifting. Somewhat aimlessly it feels.

I need to regain focus.

We have a house to decorate (read: restore and refurbish!). I have a blog that I love, and a wish to make more of it. I have a toddler who needs more of me, a more present me, and who also needs independence and experience and just, well, more.

I have few enough hours in my day. I need to make them longer… Somehow. I need to make them work for me, rather than against me.

I need to make time.

I hate to feel that I have achieved little in a day. That the washing remains undone, the tidying unfinished, the blog unwritten. That I haven’t chosen paint colours, researched taps, looked at tiles.

That I haven’t baked or crafted or done any messy play.

It’s not that there is anything really wrong, this is simply day to day life with three kids: school runs, swim classes, homework, projects, play dates and meal times. Frankly, all of those things take a lot of time, it is hardly surprising that they leave little for other things. Generally I feel fairly pleased to have just managed all of those activities!

Perhaps it is the fact that I am bone tired after a tough two weeks; that I am dwelling more on what I haven’t done, rather than crediting myself for all that I have.

But, I feel a real need to do more. Somehow. And therein lies the problem; how?

I laugh at myself when I utter the words: I used to be so organised. In fact essentially, that was my job for many years, organising people! I think that I need to start employing some of those management techniques on myself; even if that means plans and programmes, maybe even the odd Gantt chart :)

A part of me feels slightly ungrateful, selfish even, for feeling like this. That I am not drifting; I am simply taking the days as they come and doing what needs to be done, and doing a hugely important job along the way (a job that I love).

But, the overachiever in me can’t settle. So, what to do?

How has your week been, what would your word of the week be?

The Reading Residence

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22 thoughts on “Word of the Week: Drifting”

  1. I can identify with this feeling too Sara. It is so easy sometimes to focus on what we haven’t managed to do than on what we have. As long as your children are fed, loved and generally happy you are doing a great job. Love the idea of time managing yourself though – let me know if it works x

    1. Thank you Louise, you are of course right, just easier said than done sometimes. I’ll let you know if I have any success managing myself :)

  2. What you’ve said about your toddler needing more is exactly how I feel about mine. My poor girl is in the unfortunate position of being sandwiched between her highly highly strung big sister and her very needy baby brother. She doesn’t get a look in half the time and has started being really heavy handed with the baby because she knows she’ll get attention. Makes me really sad and like a rubbish mum :(

    1. You are so far from being a rubbish mum, but I know exactly what you mean. It’s really hard sometimes to balance everything :(

  3. I’ve been feeling very similar lately too Sara and I’ve only got two children (neither of which do after school activities just yet!). Finding the time to get it all done – it’s exhausting just thinking about it. I’m one of life’s procrastinators I think. I’ve read books on organisation and time management and it all makes perfect sense but it just seems too overwhelming to find a starting place. I guess we’ll get it together again soon – the toddler factor is pretty full on that’s for sure :-) X #wotw

    1. I am a champion procrastinator! I know what I should be doing, but sometimes it really is just too overwhelming and I have no idea where to start. But yes, toddlers really don’t help :)

  4. You and I share the same sentiments. I’ve been feeling a bit like a wayward lately…just drifting and fluttering about my days. Like you, I curse the days when unproductivity rules. But, I think your thoughts regarding taking it day by day rings true. Sometimes priorities shift, it could be daily, it could be hourly. The life of a mother knows no hours or bounds of time, that we both know. You sum it up just perfectly when you allude to the importance of motherhood, being that it is the best and most important job anyone can have. As long as you’re doing that well (and you certainly are!), then everything else will fall into place, eventually. Great words, and great post!

    1. Thank you, I think it’s hard to see the big picture sometimes, you get frustrated by the day to day and can’t see past it x

  5. I do know this feeling, Sara. Once all of the normal day to day stuff’s been done, you’re wiped out and then you get up and start all over again! I think you do need time to reflect on all that you do achieve and not take that for granted, as it’s all fab! Oh, and that mention of Gantt charts took me right back to work – I hated them! Hope you find a solution that works for you soon x Thanks for sharing with #WotW

    1. Thanks Jocelyn, I think it’s easy to get overwhelmed sometimes and I need to to take a step back. I would like to get more done in a day though :)

  6. I feel like that at the moment, too. Normally I am so organised – project plans, strategies and the like – but at the moment I’m just flowing and seeing what happens. In a way it’s quite liberating, but I do also worry I’m just drifting. Ultimately, though, I think life is about just seeing what happens sometimes – I’ve learned this year there are some things you can’t control, and you have to go with the flow xx #WotW

  7. I don’t think you’re a drifter or selfish or ungrateful , I just think you are a very busy Mum. I know that being a Mum of two teenage children doesn’t leave me a lot of spare time to do the things I want to do, so I can imagine that being a Mum of three is even more frustrating.

    I go through fazes where I just don’t seem to achieve anything in a day or a week or a month even, but then I take a good hard look at the things I did do and realize why; shopping, cooking, cleaning and just being a Mum is sooooo time consuming that sometimes there just isn’t time for anything else.

    Popped over from #WotW.

  8. there are never enough days in the week or hours in the day and an over achiever like you will always feel you should be doing more, the reality is you are doing plenty and you have to cut back on something to do better at something else, there just isn’t more time to be had. I’ve learned this the hard way.

    1. You are absolutely right Fiona, I know I need to let go of some things, some weeks. It really isn’t possible to do it all, all the time x

  9. Oh hun, I could have written most of this! I was organised and it was my job too. I feel constantly frustrated that I don’t achieve all the things I want to. But we are mums and kids take so much time! I think we all need to credit ourselves for the things we do, rather than the things we don’t manage. #WOTW x

  10. An honest, beautiful and humble post about feelings I think EVERY mother has had at one time or another. I hope you find your peace it this phase of life. Peace to let the unimportant things slide, and peace that you know you’ve prioritized your children and their needs in the best way you could, to the best of your knowledge. Peace knowing that you couldn’t possibly love or care about them more than you already do <3

  11. I was actually thinking that you are awesome. You are getting higher in the rankings and you are doing all this magnificent things. I didnt know that like me you are struggling with your time too. I am struggling with mine at the moment and I feel so bad about not being able to do the things that I need and want to do. Gantt chart might really help =P #wotw

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